How to buzz off a guy........

Stranger: I want to give myself to you.
She: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Stranger: Can I buy you a drink?
She: Actually, i'd rather have the money, I got bills to pay! 

When To say Goodbye

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it

An Egg Story

A Punjabi and a Bengali Babu lived next door to each other.
The Punjabi owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Bengali Babu's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Bengali Babu pick up the egg.
The Punjabi ran up to the Bengali Babu and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.

The Bengali Babu disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Punjabi said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Bengali Babu agreed to this and so the Punjabi put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Bengali Babu and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles.
The Bengali Babu fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Bengali Babu stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."

The Punjabi smiled and said, "You can keep the egg!!"

Punishing the Husband

“Cash, check or card?” I asked, after folding items the woman wanted to buy from my shop. As she looked for her wallet I noticed a remote control to a television set in her purse.

“So, do you always carry the TV remote? Why?” I asked.

“No,” she replied, ” but my husband refused to come shopping with me today, and I thought this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”

Poor Guy.... 

Son and Mom

6 year old Son: Mother, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Who told you?

Came across this Joke at a friend's party, thought provoking!

A little girl wrote a very tiny letter to God:


Dear God,

How did you know that you were God?
Who told you? Please answer!

Yours,
Tina